It ain’t as easy as it used to be to be an adult webmaster. In the old days, you’d just post a few pics of naked chicks and make $$$ all day. I woke up feeling kinda sick, I had felt the flu coming on since my recent trip to Denver.
Here is an chronological rundown of how my day went:
7AM – Wanted to sleep longer but woke up with a sore throat. Popped 25 mgs of Addoral and a DayQuil.
7:30 – Started doing some update on some pornstar blogs. Among them is Emily Parker. She tells me that she doesn’t like my blog and “wanted to use hers“, so I combined hers with my RSS feed using Feedwordpress.
8:00 – Emily Parker threatens to quit because one of my co-workers Pornstar Platinum had disrespected her and told her some random amount of money what our hosting bill would be, even though we don’t really charge the girls. I managed to talk her down from the edge.
9:00 – 12:00 – I spend hours working on a pornstar twitter account, then haggling over retweets with the very sexy Angelina Valentine. money with Charisma Capelli, the weight of Kita Zen, where one Earth Rachel Love disappeared to, and making a deal with Yuri Luv for primo placement on Freeones.
12:01 – 1:00 – Try to reconstruct a downed Sugar Daddy blog because some IT idiot didn’t do a web hosting transfer properly.
1:00 – 2:00 – I spend an hour trying to convince my hosting company my site about Jesus Jokes was actually mine. I even started a and Facebook and Twitter page for it.
2:00 – 3:00 – Get informed by one of our models from our porn talent agency (Gigi Rivera) that she had the quit the biz because Charlie Sheen has paid her off. The worked on some blogs for Dani Daniels, Coutney Page, and Vicoria Avluv.
4:20 – What you think was happening was happening. Puff, puff!!
5:00 – Starting to lose mind.
6:00 – Have a helping hand getting my girl Amy Brooke to win best anal at the Urban X Awards.
7:00 – Received several threats from con artist Robert Divine over me exposing his as a scam artist on this blog. Too bad, he’s not an honest man like Moe Tassoudji – he could have avoided the wrath of my Hiroshima-sized Google Bomb!
8:00 – Decide that my band (Dick Delicious and The Tasty Testicles) quest to win a record contract in fruitless and give up and decide to press our our own CDs. I think I even mentioned that on our Twitter and Facebook pages. Called up my tattoo artist to get the artwork started.
Some strippers called me wanting to buy some perspiration drugs? Can you guess which one I am on. Can you guess which one I should be one?
NOW – still working, still working… I MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING REALLY BAD IN MY PAST LIFE!
Hail Satan!